I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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