We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I need to align my fucking chakras
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
