First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
