I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
