Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
