he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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