Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
