I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
