how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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