i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
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