How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
