Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
