Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
