This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
