Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
