I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
