He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
