bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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