Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
