She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
