no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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