its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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