Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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