The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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