New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
