Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
