do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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