I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Randomize
