Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
