I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Soap is not a condiment
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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