I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
