yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
