fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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