My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
