dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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