I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
