my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
