Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
