Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I checked into jail on foursquare
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
