I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
