If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
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