Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
