he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize