Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
