And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
