rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
