oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
