you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
