Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
