i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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