Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize