hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
pray to the hookup gods
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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