I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Mom said you looked used
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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