It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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