Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
As shirtless as possible
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
