If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Randomize
