so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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