Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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