I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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