You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
