i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
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