I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
