I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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