this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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