What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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