This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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