She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
