I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
my god I love twenty year old dicks
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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