you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
