I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
