either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
