sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
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