I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize