it wasn't lemon gatorade
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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