i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
