I think I am morally bankrupt
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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