WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
