i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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