D3 body, D1 cock
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
