girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You took a bar mat shot.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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