just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
