Dual....:-)
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you traded sex for a burrito?
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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