What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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