Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
