thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
