I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
